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Todd Kreisman: The Website: The Homepage

Oh… hi.  I didn’t see you come in.

This is my website.  There are all sorts of pages and whatnot, just like a real website.

You may have noticed that there is a giant head in the background.  That would be my head.  I’m realizing now that it doesn’t look so great in close-up.  It appears that I haven’t much hair.  Also, you can see all my cracks and imperfections.  Actually, there’s one crack and about 14 imperfections you can’t see in this picture.  You’ll have to acknowledge that you’re over 18 to see the rest.

This is my first real atempt at a website, so I’d welcome your feedback.  Anything from making design or layout suggestions to pointing out spelling or punctuation errors would be much appreciated.  If, for example, you noticed that I only spelled “attempt” with one “t.”  And you thought you were so smart.

Are you bored by this website already?  I feel like you are.  Maybe that’s just me being paranoid.

I would like to personally thank you for coming here.  And for reading all of this.  God knows you didn’t have to.  You’re probably wondering right now, “Okay, this is great and all, but when are you going to say something substantial and non-masturbatory?”  Hold on to your saddle there, cowpoke.  I’m getting to it.

Widget – what the hell is a widget?  I guess I’m going to have to figure that shit out.

Who am I, you ask?  I’m an aspiring writer, actor, stand-up comedian, ordained minister and poker player.  Well, no, I take that back – I already am all of those things, I’m just aspiring to make a living at them.  I left my office job on January 1st, 2010, and am determined never to go back to that way of life.  I may have to take to begging on the streets.  I may have to resort to selling my body on the black market.  But I vow never again be the unproud owner of a physical inbox.

So there you go.  Me in a nutshell.  Now check out the other pages if you’d like to see the rest of the nuts.