Contact Me

To contact me by email:

To contact me by phone:

I’m in the book. What book, you ask? The book of mind-your-own-business, that’s what book.

To contact me by carrier pigeon:

Write out your message, tie it to the pigeon’s leg and set it free. Are you serious? Have you never sent anything by carrier pigeon before?

To contact me telepathically:

I am available for telepathic connections Monday through Friday between the hours of 2 and 4 pm. If you get a busy signal, please hang up and try back later.

To contact me via snail mail:

See “To contact me by carrier pigeon.” Replace the pigeon with a snail.  Expect delays.

To contact me in person:

Here’s a Mapquest to my house:


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