To contact me by email:
To contact me by phone:
I’m in the book. What book, you ask? The book of mind-your-own-business, that’s what book.
To contact me by carrier pigeon:
Write out your message, tie it to the pigeon’s leg and set it free. Are you serious? Have you never sent anything by carrier pigeon before?
To contact me telepathically:
I am available for telepathic connections Monday through Friday between the hours of 2 and 4 pm. If you get a busy signal, please hang up and try back later.
To contact me via snail mail:
See “To contact me by carrier pigeon.” Replace the pigeon with a snail. Expect delays.
To contact me in person:
Here’s a Mapquest to my house: